Helicopter Mom

Your child is playing with my child on the playground. They looked like they were having fun, but something isn’t right. I start toward them.

“Helicopter mom,” you think as you roll your eyes.

“They’re just playing,” you say without any concern, when our elementary school children both have their hands on the same toy.

You think they need to sort it out for themselves. That I will get in the way.

You think they are playing a game. I can tell by my child’s face it is not.

He is defending his territory. But the toy is not his. If a fight ensues, it will not be because he wants to fight. But if he hits, he will be seen as the instigator. And I will be seen as the bad mom.

Your child will learn to stay away from my child. Another friendship lost.

He does not see how being territorial can damage relationships. In the here and now, his territory is all that matters.

Right now I am protecting him from himself. As I walk toward them, my child flails his arms at your child. I hope with all my heart that you didn’t see that. I hope you won’t judge me because of it.

I want my child to learn to share. I want him to manage his own emotions. I want him to have empathy for others.

I know you want the same thing for your child, and you see this as a teaching moment. But my son gets so wrapped up in emotion that playground lessons don’t stick.

That is why we teach him differently, about sharing, about empathy, about emotions. Because he cannot learn on the playground.

Your child plays with him later. Their play together is play. And I leave them alone, thankful that my child has a friend.

Yes, on the playground, I am a helicopter mom.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about my roller coaster week

This post is part of a link-up hosted by Part-Time Monster

Thanks to Part-Time Monster for hosting this linkup!

If we were having coffee today, I’d be drinking tea. I’m coming down with a cold and woke up with a sore throat this morning. There is never a good time to have a cold.

It’s worse for Cassatt; colds trigger an asthma attack for him. Fortunately we had some steroids left over from the last time this happened, so I could give him some before I took him to the doctor. This saved him from needing a breathing treatment while we were at the doctor. But now we have a 4 year old who is much more active than usual due to steroids.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you how elated I am about my teacher seminar. When I first imagined the seminar, it was in response to a report that cited the high rates of suspension and expulsion among kids with disabilities, especially among minorities. ADHD often comes with behaviors that lead to discipline, and it is my hope that, by bringing this seminar to St. Louis, teachers would learn ways to better teach kids with ADHD and learn about effective discipline for these kids. I had especially wanted teachers from minority school districts to come, enough so that I was hoping to allow some to attend at no cost. This week, we were given money for scholarships for teachers from under-preforming minority school districts. I am beyond thrilled to have this recognized as a need and to have funds for these teachers.

The next challenge is getting enough people to register. But flyers just went out last week, so the seminar is still relatively unknown. I just hope teachers learn about it in time to request reimbursement from their schools.

***

If we were having coffee I would tell you I had a minor car accident this week. The side of my car is pretty torn up, but nobody was injured. The kids were both in school, so they didn’t experience it at all. But it is an inconvenience, and it will take time to get everything settled.

***

Thanks for joining me for coffee this morning. I can’t wait to hear about your week!

If we were having coffee I’d give you peaches …

This post is part of a link-up hosted by Part-Time Monster

Thanks to Part-Time Monster for hosting a weekly coffee share linkup!

 

I’m hustling peaches this week. We went peach picking last weekend and went a little bit overboard. 3 boxes holds more than I thought it would! I had wanted some to can and make jam. I ended up with 16 jars of jam, 3 jars of peach butter, 7 jars of jam, a pie, and enough left over to do something else with. And plenty to eat, too. It has been a delicious week. But busy!!!

Besides the peaches, we’ve been busy with the end of summer and the first days of school. Picasso chose to go to the Magic House both Monday and Tuesday. We never stay at a museum all day; we all get exhausted after a few hours. So we didn’t get to see on Monday many things that he wanted to see, which is why we had to go back. It’s a good thing we’re members!

School started Wednesday, and I thought I would get a bunch done while the kids are in school. Boy was I wrong! Besides the hour that pickup takes out of my day, I have been crazy getting things ready for the seminar in October. We now have a location contract and brochures are FINALLY ready to send out! I spent a lot of time with the mailing house this week, getting bulk mail status cleared away and making sure the brochures were good to mail out. As soon as I dropped Cassatt off for his first day, I went downtown to the post office only to find out that 1. I didn’t have to fill out all the paperwork I had filled out; 2. I probably could have taken care of it with a phone call (although I was told they don’t answer the phones); and 3. the computers were down so they couldn’t help me anyway. Fortunately they took my information and called me back the next day with what I needed.

Saturday morning was spent in training to be an MPACT parent mentor. Basically, I will be helping parents get special education for their kids. This is some of the advocacy I was doing when I was practicing law, and I really enjoy it.

We squeezed in time for a date night last night. We went to the City Museum and had fun climbing through tunnels and caves and sliding down the 10 story slide. I only panicked a little from the heights!

I hope your week has gone well. What should I do with the rest of my peaches?

 

If we were having Coffee instead of Writing …

This post is part of a link-up hosted by Part-Time Monster

Thanks to Part-Time Monster for hosting a weekly coffee share linkup!

Good morning, I’m sitting here with a full cup of coffee and listening to the DVD my kids are watching. I got them some Scholastic books from the library–do you know those? They are watching Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site. At least they’re watching books, so that makes it educational, right? Right?

The fact that it’s still summer prevents me from doing some writing. I just hate putting my kids in front of the TV for too long so I can sit at my computer. At any rate, I haven’t written any fiction since we left for vacation. I know the longer I wait, the harder it will be to get back to it, but I just can’t seem to summon up the courage to write these days. I did get a piece published, though, about my hopes for the school year.

Of course, the back-to-school fluster makes that even harder. MOPS is ramping up–we had a pottery painting night last night, so I’m a little weary this morning. I’m slowly getting some new registrations in. We don’t actually start meetings until school has been in session for almost a month, but it’s still keeping me occupied.

And CHADD is becoming a full-time job recently. We still don’t have a contract on a conference room, but finally I feel like we’re closer to making that happen. I have the seminar posted on-line and we are slowly starting some marketing. We had a regular meeting this week, and I have a meeting with another nonprofit that works for ADHD awareness today.

My garden is growing and being eaten. The cucumbers are doing very well. I was looking forward to having some tomatoes as well, and then they got taken off the vine. Terribly frustrating! We had some okra, and the peppers are growing. I don’t think the critters will eat them, and we will have plenty of spicy peppers for a while. They’re not really doing their job, though — I planted them to discourage rabbits from eating my other vegetables!

I’d bettter start getting some things ready for my meeting. It was good to have coffee with you. I will see you next week!

If we were Having Coffee after VBS …

This post is part of a link-up hosted by Part-Time Monster

Thanks to Part-Time Monster for hosting a weekly coffee share linkup!

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you what a relief it is that VBS is over. It went really well, although I think they’re giving me too much credit for that. I’m a little worried that I agreed next year to get a team together and oversee it. But I already have ideas about who will do what, so hopefully it won’t be hard work, just labor-intensive.

As if I need something else labor intensive right now. Other than VBS I have been stressing out over the October seminar for CHADD, to the point of almost forgetting there is a regular meeting next Wednesday. Fortunately I got everything set up for that ahead of time. Now I have to start getting things ready for our September meeting. We still haven’t sent out brochures for the October conference, I really hope we can start doing that soon.

I got my article finished! It should be published next week, I’ll share when it is. Now I’m interested in trying to get more published.

The weather has been dry this week, which is nice, but I haven’t been watering my garden as much. I need to spend some time in it this weekend. We have lots of cucumbers still, but our tomatoes are slow to ripen. I get excited when I see a green tomato, but I’m not very patient with them!

My coffee cup is dry now, and I don’t want to talk your ear off. What has been the hilight of your week?

What’s on my menu?

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